A first question asks: “Please tell us, why do we sometimes feel so empty and experience such loneliness?”
It is a beautiful question. It addresses a psychological state that people experience, especially adolescents. The period of adolescence is accompanied by many such phenomena, the causes of which are often inexplicable; meaning, one could not easily find the reason why they feel this way. Hence your question. But let us see, what could we say here?
First of all, this loneliness, this emptying of our soul, is due to the absence of the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit is absent, a person feels this way. Contemporary man, of course, is a man who lacks the Spirit of God, and that is why he feels empty. I emphasize this, and we must understand it, because what the world needs today—it always needs it, but especially in our times—above all else, is the presence of the Holy Spirit. If you will, the Christian life must lead us to the acquisition of the Holy Spirit. This is why Christ came into the world: so that the Holy Spirit might come, so that we might become Spirit-bearers, to fill us Christians with the Holy Spirit, so that Pentecost may be unceasingly repeated. There is no need for me to tell you, of course, that today we ignore this reality, and this is a deviation from the spiritual life we live. Furthermore, when we say „spiritual life,” what else does this mean if not the life of the Holy Spirit? Thus, when I do not live the life of the Holy Spirit, meaning when the Holy Spirit is absent, it is very natural for me to feel empty, to feel a deep loneliness.
But when does the Spirit of God depart? For you might say to me that when we were baptized, we received the Spirit of God; that at Chrismation we received the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Yes, yes, that is true, but these remain dormant and inactive when a person sins. That is, they do not cultivate the presence of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit withdraws, and ultimately, the person ends up feeling as I described. Thus, we feel empty when we sin, when we occupy ourselves with vanities! You cannot imagine how empty a person feels when they occupy themselves with vanities! If you will, there is a vicious cycle here—I will explain it to you—and we must break this vicious cycle so that the issue ends for us. What do I mean? What does it mean to „occupy myself with vanities”? I seek vainglory; I seek a futile glory. For example, wanting to be told that I am beautiful. To be told that I am modern. To be told that I have expensive jewelry, that I wear carefully chosen clothes, and so on. That I am knowledgeable—ultimately, that I shine, brother! All of these things are a vanity, a vainglory, simply because they will pass away, and they do pass away; I can lose them from one moment to the next.
Perhaps you have seen someone who fell ill with some disease! What can I say? I saw, for instance, a 27-year-old young man who was also married—this was a long time ago—and he had liver cancer. However, not everyone with hepatic cirrhosis suffers what I am about to tell you; no, these are special cases. What can I say? I knew him as a young man, a good boy, so I went to visit him at the clinic. I hadn’t seen him for a while. When I saw him, it was impossible for me to recognize him! As we say, „skin and bones”: he was literally skin and bones! His skin was clinging to the bone; he had no flesh left at all. Only his ears appeared very large because his face had shrunk. It was terrifying. I was left speechless with shock, just looking at him. I experienced what Job’s three friends experienced: for three days, for a week, they could not speak out of shock, seeing what their friend, Job, had become.
You take pride in being beautiful!? You lose that very quickly! You take pride in being intelligent!? You slip on the street, hit your head, suffer a stroke, and become an unparalleled idiot. In just a few seconds, take heed! Children, it is a terrifying thing!
So what happens with vanity? Pay attention! A person begins to project themselves. But when they project themselves into their environment, shortly after—because the Holy Spirit has departed: does it not say that „God resists the proud”? Vanity is the beginning of pride—the grace of God departs. You cannot feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within you! Then the emptiness grows larger. And seeing this inner void—because in the soul of the vain there is a desert—the vain person rushes to show off and project themselves even more intensely to fill the empty space in their soul. And they feel the emptiness even more, because the Spirit of God withdraws even further. And a vicious cycle is created. Do you know how this cycle must be broken? The person must humble themselves, so that the Spirit of God may return and they may feel filled within! That is all! But man does not understand this, being like someone who tries to quench his thirst with saltwater. The more saltwater he drinks, the more his thirst increases.
We can also feel this void in our soul when we engage in boundless extroversion. At this point, pay attention! What do we mean by this extroversion? When we talk a lot, when we chatter idly, when we laugh excessively, when we tell many jokes, when we have many social gatherings—relationships, visits, crowds, greetings—all these things, ultimately, empty the soul. The person who can pay attention to themselves will see that after much laughter, after many jokes and the like, when they are left alone—especially if they have judged someone or told dirty jokes—and if they have a little conscience, a minimal self-awareness, they will feel that they have automatically become empty. It is what we say among ourselves when we have a little of the divine Spirit: „I felt the grace of God departing.” Of course, it departs temporarily. In that moment, it leaves. When I come to my senses, the grace of God returns.
Therefore, to feel our soul constantly renewed, always full and never experiencing this void, we must remain together with Jesus Christ. We must abide in the contemplation (theoria) of Jesus Christ. Do you know what „contemplation” means? To keep our mind on Jesus Christ! To think of Him in every place and at every moment! What I am telling you might seem strange: how can we think of Jesus Christ in every place and at every moment? When a person has learned to think of Christ, they think of Him! Everywhere and always! Christ is present in created beings; or rather, He is in the inner principles (logoi) of beings. When one looks at creation, the seal of the Divine Logos, of the Enhypostatic Wisdom, is there, and they rejoice in everything, from the flower they gaze upon to the stars. Furthermore, He is found in science, where one can observe beings and the relationships between them; there, the spiritual person experiences the inner principles of beings—their causes—in which they find the First Cause of all beings: the Logos (with a capital „L”) of the logoi (with a lowercase „l”, genitive plural) of beings. They find the Logos of the logoi (the Reason of the reasons) of beings. They find the First Cause, that is, of what was created, and rejoice in this. Furthermore, they find God in history. They see how people move. They see everything: wars, strange situations regarding people and nations. And they see how God enters into those situations, and they contemplate this. They also see Jesus Christ in revelation, in the Gospel. Meaning, they are in a continuous contemplation (theoria) of Jesus Christ. Theoria—vision—I see Jesus Christ! They can also see Him—have theoria—in the study of the Word of God and in prayer.
Moreover, when the heart is not purified, we feel empty. Do we want to feel full? The heart must be purified. Some say: „But I don’t commit any sins. I didn’t go where I shouldn’t go. I didn’t do what I shouldn’t have done.” That is not enough; I must have purity of heart. I must not even desire evil. I must not even think evil! Purity of heart is a difficult thing, it is not easy! It is a lifelong trial for a person. A continuous, lifelong ascesis: purity of heart. Does Christ not say: „Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”? They will see Him even in this life! Of course, as St. Symeon the New Theologian says: „If you have not seen God in this life, you will not see Him there either!” And this is achieved only through purity of heart. But be careful! Even purity of heart is not enough! Purity of heart is the means. The heart must be filled, though! It can be cleansed, but it must be filled! With what? With the Spirit of God! With the presence of God! Do you see how much work we have? Where are those who say: „Well, I didn’t go—as you tell me—to the party!” But you yearn for it, you think about it! You don’t go. You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you don’t do this or that, you don’t live according to the dictates of fashion, but you yearn for them! Your heart, then, is not on the path of purification! The heart must be purified!
And, finally, sometimes even the spiritual person feels alone. They feel loneliness; they feel their heart is empty. Not for the same reason, even if they sometimes feel that vanity is creeping into their heart. Not for the same reason, but because of the pedagogical reasons of God. So that the soul may seek Him, to create in the soul the need for a new calling, and to provide the person with an opportunity for spiritual growth. Let us not forget that ascending the steps of spiritual growth happens simultaneously with God’s abandonments. Meaning, we feel a fullness! And at a certain moment, we feel that we lack fullness. I am missing something! I am missing God! Indeed, God is missing, but for pedagogical reasons; not for punitive reasons, but for growth! What do I do then? I say: „My God, where are You? My soul seeks You!” as St. Symeon the New Theologian says in his hymns. And then the grace of God appears again in the soul. This time the soul, having the experience of God’s absence, lives a new experience, of the presence of God. And thus, through the consecutive abandonments of God, consecutive experiences of growth in the spiritual life are created. If we are attentive, I tell you truly, this is a method of spiritual advancement. This is why I lingered so long on this beautiful question, to explain to you why we often feel empty.
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