In this recording, Archimandrite Athanasios Mytilinaios (1927-2006), answers the question: “How can one know if he has an aptitude to become a monk?” “It needs research, a lot of attention and objectivity in the search of ourselves… It is an issue of love for Christ. You might say, can’t a married man love Christ much? Sure! But the one who wants to remain unmarried is fulfilled, or he ought to be fulfilled, by great love [for Christ]. I did not say faith, I said love. If you love Christ a lot, then you occupy yourself with Him, then everything fills your heart, and then you can stay unmarried.”
Audio source: “Catechism”, no. 930, March 24, 1996 (in Greek)
Fr. Athanasios:
“How can one know if he has an aptitude to become a monk?”
This is a big issue to explore, but let us try to answer with a few words.
To become a monk is a gift/charisma. To get married is also a gift. That’s why Apostle Paul says one is able not to marry, another one, let him marry. “But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.” [1 Cor 7:7] When the monk sees the married one with his kids crying and nagging… Surely, [the married man] does not throw them out of the window because he is bothered.
You need to have a gift to raise children. It’s not a small thing. On the other side, ask the family man to become a monk, and he will lose his mind. Why? Because the monk has a gift to be a monk. Apostle Paul says so, I told you. “Each one has his own gift.” One to be a monk and another one to be married. The first can be saved and the second can be saved. Alas if the married ones could not be saved! Alas! For whom was the Gospel written, [if not for them as well]?
But if the married man is a good Christian, then let the unmarried also be a good Christian. Both of them. What fits to each type of man is a different thing. Since, however, the question is particular, we would answer what Christ said when He said that the divorce is forbidden. God does not want it. The disciples were then afraid. Some of them were married, Peter, for example. Others, John for example, maybe his brother James as well, were unmarried when they listened to the teaching on divorce, that it is not allowed. And if you have a “difficult” wife? What then? The disciples then say, thus it’s not of benefit to marry for anyone.
The Lord, he had never taught on unmarried life. Why? Because it is up to each man to choose. There is a beautiful position here. Apostle Paul and St. John the Chrysostom follow the same paradigm [on this matter]. St. John Chrysostom interprets Apostle Paul and Apostle Paul interprets Christ. Apostle Paul talked on this because the Corinthians wrote to him on this issue. He was in Ephesus. As Christ stated occasionally, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.” [Matthew 19:11] Hence, it is a gift, but it’s not a gift that does not involve the personal effort of every man. Hence, when Christ said, “only those to whom it has been given,”
He adds “He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” [Matthew 19:12] Which means it is a gift and an effort [at the same time] to remain unmarried. Likewise in marriage, it is a charisma and [requires] effort to have family. This above before anything, but Father [now Saint] Paisios the Athonite used to say that all can be unmarried, if only they want it. But not all want it. It is not that they just cannot [stay unmarried], but also, they do not want it. Do you know where the “want or not” is found? It is found in the psychological or the emotional space. Can you stay alone? If you can, then you can be a monk. If you cannot, then you cannot be one. Personally, I had observed what was [once] said by Fr. Paisios.
Kids who had fallen into sin, when they came to Mt. Athos, they became monks. Just [because] they had fallen into sin, they became monks. There is no obstacle. However, kids that had not fallen into sin but had a sentimentality to the opposite gender, they left. This is quite characteristic.
The answer concerning what I’ve said is found on where you find yourself psychologically or sentimentally. Do you need necessarily the companion of the opposite gender, as we can have both monks and nuns. Can you say that you have psychological and emotional completeness? Does the presence of Christ fill you? If yes, you can stay unmarried. If no, you should marry. And one has to be careful on this issue, otherwise he will have problems afterwards.
May God help, because man ends up being otherwise a tragic person. In case he wanted to become a monk but he ends up married, or in the case he wanted to marry and he becomes a monk, he ends out becoming a tragic person. It needs research, a lot of attention and objectivity in the search of ourselves.
One more thing. It is an issue of love for Christ. You might say, can’t a married man love Christ much? Sure! But the one who wants to remain unmarried is fulfilled, or he ought to be fulfilled, by great love [for Christ]. I did not say faith, I said love. If you love Christ a lot, then you occupy yourself with Him, then everything fills your heart, and then you can stay unmarried.
These are a few words on this question.
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