Mother Silouana Vlad talks about a common reason for failed marriages today: turning the partner in an object. “Therefore, the man is no longer a person who unites me with God, through which I grow in my relationship with God”.

Subtitles: English, Romanian
Video source: Doxologia 2020

Mother Silouana:
The unmarried woman, who wants very much to get married, should pay a visit for a week, to a friend who already got married… And if she still wants to marry… then she should pray for it…

We don’t know what we ask… There are so many women asking for a man and then… She asks me, “Mother, what can I do to get married?” And then: “Mother, is it a sin to divorce?”
The problem in these examples is that we transform our desire in a desire for objects. We transform the reality into objects. The man is an object, the child is an object, the car is an object.
The man is no longer a person who unites me with God, through which I grow in my relationship with God.
The only solution for those who want to stay Christians and maintain a relationship with God (but even non-Christians will discover this too, it’s for everyone)… Our desire is oriented towards the Absolute. We are not satisfied with a little…
“I have now a man, but I’m still not satisfied. What did I do wrong? Why?”
Because my desire wants the Absolute, wants God. And when I want God, my man becomes the gift of God and the work of God with me. He shows me my weaknesses, I see his weaknesses and I pray for him. Together we move closer to God.
It is very important to understand that God, in the couple, in the family, He gives me strength to help the other one to become himself or herself. And not to become like me, not like my mother, not like my father…
So, you are a miracle but still in potency… God gives me love and strength to help you to become as you want and as God wants. And you help me to become what I want to be and what God wants. And my children are God’s gift and I train them to become what God wants them to be not what I want… (“You should become a judge like I am!”)
Let’s stop turning people into objects!


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